A Positive Approach to Negative People

I recently read an article telling managers that they should"get rid of" people whose negative attitudes are adverselyaffecting productivity and morale within their organizations.
I agree that is a manager's ultimate responsibility, butemphasize the word "ultimate." In far too many cases,managers go from looking the other way to swinging the axe,with the excuse that you can't make people change their attitudes.
"Getting rid of" someone should be a last resort, taken ifand only if efforts to induce a more positive workplaceenvironment and the corresponding attitudes of individualswho work there are not successful.
In that spirit, I share some of the most important lessonsI've learned about taking a positive approach to negativepeople in my years with Values Coach. These principles applynot only to management - replace the words "organization"and "manager" with "family" and "parent" and you can takethem home with you.
One: Recognize that toxic emotional negativity is always anoutward projection of some inner pain (anxiety, envy, lowself-esteem, etc.), and that helping people be more positiveat work often means helping them achieve a higher level ofself-mastery in their personal lives. To say that's not yourresponsibility is to sell short your organization, youremployees, and the people you serve.
Two: Toxic emotional negativity is like the big smellyelephant in the middle of the living room. Everyone knowsit's there, but no one wants to talk about it. Expectationsregarding how attitudes are reflected in behaviors should beclear in orientation, performance appraisals, staffmeetings, informal coaching, and every other possible venue.Instead of complaining about someone's negative attitude,managers should have the courage to confront it in aconstructive way.
Three: Attitudes are not genetic qualities; they are habitsthat are directly influenced by organizational culture, thebehaviors of peers, and expectations of managers. As withall efforts to change inappropriate or self-destructivehabits, fostering a more positive workplace is best achievedwith gentle pressure relentlessly applied.
Four: Be clear and specific about the link between valuesand behaviors. For example, I do not know of an organizationor an individual that does not claim to hold Integrity as animportant value. Yet I do not know of an organization thatdoes not have a rumor mill, and I know very few individualswho do not at least on occasion participate.
As Lori Palatnik and Bob Burg point out in their book on thesubject, gossip always violates integrity; seen in thatlight, managers have a higher obligation to eliminate itfrom the workplace.
Five: Teach people practical skills for confronting toxicemotional negativity. In our leadership retreats, wesometimes break out into small groups and ask people tocreate skits demonstrating how they would confrontinappropriate attitudes.
Most people are very uncomfortable with it, and not verygood at it. These are important management skills, andshould be taught, role-played, and critiqued (books likeCrucial Confrontations, Fierce Conversations and TheCoward's Guide to Conflict can help). Likewise, there arevery effective techniques for confronting gossip and otherinappropriate behaviors.
Six: Give people tools to depersonalize the confrontation.One of the most powerful tools in the quest for a smoke-freeworld was the simple No Smoking sign. Instead of confrontingsomeone lighting a cigarette, we were able to point to thesign and achieve the desired result with minimal risk ofconflict. The Pickle Challenge that our Spark Plug groupsuse to foster a more positive workplace includes cute signs,pickle jars, and The Pickle Pledge as visual prompts toreinforce positive attitudes.
Seven: Be a positive example. It's remarkable how frequentlywe hear managers whine and complain about how tired they areof hearing their people whine and complain. This is an easytrap to fall into. As a manager (or as a parent), you mustassume that you are always on stage, and set an example of apositive and optimistic attitude for those who look to youfor direction.