Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
LETTER FROM A NEWLY MARRIED GIRL TO HER MOTHER
Dear mom,
Like every normal girl,I was excited about marriage,right from my childhood days.I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming but today when I am married I realize that marriage is not all roses. It's not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromise's. I can't wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family I can't laze around in my pyjamas throught the day. I am expected to be presentable everytime. I can't just go out anytime I want to. I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can't hit the bed anytime i want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can't expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of every one else in the family. And then I think to myself "Why did I get married at all?" I was happier with you,mom. Sometimes I think of coming back to you & getting pampared again. I want to come home to my favourite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friend. I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worry in this in this world.
But then I suddenly realize, had you not get married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn't have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this become clear-to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you. And I am sure that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you do.
Thank you mom for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same. LOVE YOU.
BEING SINGLE
BEING SINGLE ISN'T A TIME TO BE LOOKING FOR LOVE, USE THAT TIME TO WORK ON YOURSELF AND GROW AS AN INDIVIDUAL.
“Take benefit of five before five:
your youth before your old age,
your health before your sickness,
your wealth before your poverty,
your free-time before your preoccupation,
and your life before your death.”
A girl before marriage...!!
"My man should be a
perfect guy."
"He should love me
more than I do."
"He should never make
me cry."
"He should always
understand me."
But after marriage...!!!!
"So what if he's not
perfect, he's still the
best for me."
"So what if he doesn't
love me unconditionally, I`ll love him."
"So what if he's not
understanding me, I`ll
understand him & adjust
because I cant afford to
lose him...
10 things you have to know about arranged marriages
1) Right age: Love knows no age, but in order to make a good match through arranged marriage, it is imperative to keep age consideration in mind. The preferable age for girls is around 25 or 26 and for guys no later than 30.
2) Self assessment: Take a pen and paper and list down what all things you expect in your spouse to be and what level of compatibility do you desire, that will be in tune with the compromises that will need to be made.
3) Decent Expectations: Expectations in an arranged marriage tend to run high and higher the expectations, greater are the disappointments because at the end of the day, it is not necessary that all the virtues that you desire can be found in one person.
4) Economic compatibility: Arranged marriages take everything in account and strive for utmost compatibility even in terms of economic standing of the families. In fact, in olden days it was a way of ensuring financial security for the bride.
5) Beauty: Arranged marriage is about suitability and compatibility. Beauty can easily take a back seat. Your intended need not be as dashing as Tom Cruise or as charming as Kate Winslet. Looks are important but not the most important thing.
6) Understanding: Now, this is the million dollar question: how can you understand a person in just one or two meets? At times a lifetime seems less to truly understand someone. It is here that you should share your feelings about the person with your very close friends or may be siblings.
7) Observe Etiquettes: Yes, there are some set codes of conduct that society at large expects you to follow. For example, do sufficient background research about the person before consenting to meet. Answering in negation after having met twice or thrice may be detrimental to the person’s self confidence.
8) Take Advice: Feel free to take advice from those you feel will be able to guide you in the best possible way. Do not make a show of your feelings but then do not go about it unsolicited.
9) Final Decision: Do not just marry a girl or a guy just because your parents or friends asked you to. It has to be your own decision and you will be responsible for whatever happens later in the life.
10) Commitment: Arranged marriages are based on commitment and it is the most necessary element that keeps a relationship going.
2) Self assessment: Take a pen and paper and list down what all things you expect in your spouse to be and what level of compatibility do you desire, that will be in tune with the compromises that will need to be made.
3) Decent Expectations: Expectations in an arranged marriage tend to run high and higher the expectations, greater are the disappointments because at the end of the day, it is not necessary that all the virtues that you desire can be found in one person.
4) Economic compatibility: Arranged marriages take everything in account and strive for utmost compatibility even in terms of economic standing of the families. In fact, in olden days it was a way of ensuring financial security for the bride.
5) Beauty: Arranged marriage is about suitability and compatibility. Beauty can easily take a back seat. Your intended need not be as dashing as Tom Cruise or as charming as Kate Winslet. Looks are important but not the most important thing.
6) Understanding: Now, this is the million dollar question: how can you understand a person in just one or two meets? At times a lifetime seems less to truly understand someone. It is here that you should share your feelings about the person with your very close friends or may be siblings.
7) Observe Etiquettes: Yes, there are some set codes of conduct that society at large expects you to follow. For example, do sufficient background research about the person before consenting to meet. Answering in negation after having met twice or thrice may be detrimental to the person’s self confidence.
8) Take Advice: Feel free to take advice from those you feel will be able to guide you in the best possible way. Do not make a show of your feelings but then do not go about it unsolicited.
9) Final Decision: Do not just marry a girl or a guy just because your parents or friends asked you to. It has to be your own decision and you will be responsible for whatever happens later in the life.
10) Commitment: Arranged marriages are based on commitment and it is the most necessary element that keeps a relationship going.
10 SIMPLE WAYS A MAN CAN KEEP HIS WOMEN HAPPY
1. Look good and smell great for your wife.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.
4. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
5. Leave the past for Allah, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
6. Don't act as if you are doing her a favour by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
7. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
8. Help her take care of the children.
9. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
10. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.
4. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
5. Leave the past for Allah, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
6. Don't act as if you are doing her a favour by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
7. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
8. Help her take care of the children.
9. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
10. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
10 things you have to know about arranged marriages
1) Right age:
Love knows no age, but in order to make a good match through arranged marriage, it is imperative to keep age consideration in mind. The preferable age for girls is around 25 or 26 and for guys no later than 30.
2) Self assessment:
2) Self assessment:
Take a pen and paper and list down what all things you expect in your spouse to be and what level of compatibility do you desire, that will be in tune with the compromises that will need to be made.
3) Decent Expectations:
3) Decent Expectations:
Expectations in an arranged marriage tend to run high and higher the expectations, greater are the disappointments because at the end of the day, it is not necessary that all the virtues that you desire can be found in one person.
4) Economic compatibility:
4) Economic compatibility:
Arranged marriages take everything in account and strive for utmost compatibility even in terms of economic standing of the families. In fact, in olden days it was a way of ensuring financial security for the bride.
5) Beauty:
5) Beauty:
Arranged marriage is about suitability and compatibility. Beauty can easily take a back seat. Your intended need not be as dashing as Tom Cruise or as charming as Kate Winslet. Looks are important but not the most important thing.
6) Understanding:
6) Understanding:
Now, this is the million dollar question: how can you understand a person in just one or two meets? At times a lifetime seems less to truly understand someone. It is here that you should share your feelings about the person with your very close friends or may be siblings.
7) Observe Etiquettes:
7) Observe Etiquettes:
Yes, there are some set codes of conduct that society at large expects you to follow. For example, do sufficient background research about the person before consenting to meet. Answering in negation after having met twice or thrice may be detrimental to the person’s self confidence.
8) Take Advice:
8) Take Advice:
Feel free to take advice from those you feel will be able to guide you in the best possible way. Do not make a show of your feelings but then do not go about it unsolicited.
9) Final Decision:
9) Final Decision:
not just marry a girl or a guy just because your parents or friends asked you to. It has to be your own decision and you will be responsible for whatever happens later in the life.
10) Commitment:
10) Commitment:
Arranged marriages are based on commitment and it is the most necessary element that keeps a relationship going.
A girl's thought ♥
Marriage is an important phase of life for everyone but for a girl its the most amazing decision of her life. A girls dreams and wishes for her life partner are as follows:
I want a husband who would hold my hand in l
ines at the mall or while crossing roads so that i feel protected
I want someone who would recite to me quran at random moments
Someone who would respect my maturity and love my innocence too.
Someone who will ensure that I fulfill my obligations to Allah and help me earn Jannatul Firdous.
Someone who would let me fulfill my responsibilitie s towards my mum&dad and would love my family like his own
I want a guy who will accept me with love and make me feel a part of his family.
Someone who I could share my fears, my laughs, my smile and my tears with .
Someone who would not get angry over my mistakes instead scold me like my mother n then help me to learn not to do it again
But mostly, someone who would be loyal to me and will always be the reason for my smile ♥
And I promise to such a guy that I would always prove his trust right, i would be his family, and i would love and respect his parents, just as they would respect me.
Your heart is not empty and dull because you are single without a spouse. Your heart is not weak because you cry easily. In fact, your heart is not a heart when it is only used to circulate blood throughout your body.
In all honesty, your heart is empty when Allah is far and not your priority. When tears are shed only for people and not for Allah. When you heart is connected to objects and not to His worship. When anger is present and not love. When guidance is neglected for worldly gains. When guidance is replaced with corruption. When money changes your values.
Your heart is a heart when you hear Allah's call, you answer it, and you extend the call to others whom are not present. When you feel compassion and sadness for the hardships of others. When you cry out of joy that Allah choose you to be a Muslim. When you prostrate to Allah out of fear and love. When sins are given to the All-Merciful and you repent.
Your heart is a heart when logic is ignored because a sound heart defines righteousness, whereas a corrupt heart is controlled by your logic. Only through a sound heart will you find peace, and only through Allah will your heart be sound. And only through Islam with you be content with your destination.
Your heart is your personality, it is your integrity. It is your love and kindness. It is yours as long as Allah's voice is greater than this worlds. Give up your heart to Allah. Give Him the chance to reward you. Give Him a reason to guide you. Give Him the opportunity to prepare a place for you in Paradise. Give Him and He will give back, for He never fails His promise. Truly He is the Giver Of Life, The Greatest, And Most-Merciful!
In all honesty, your heart is empty when Allah is far and not your priority. When tears are shed only for people and not for Allah. When you heart is connected to objects and not to His worship. When anger is present and not love. When guidance is neglected for worldly gains. When guidance is replaced with corruption. When money changes your values.
Your heart is a heart when you hear Allah's call, you answer it, and you extend the call to others whom are not present. When you feel compassion and sadness for the hardships of others. When you cry out of joy that Allah choose you to be a Muslim. When you prostrate to Allah out of fear and love. When sins are given to the All-Merciful and you repent.
Your heart is a heart when logic is ignored because a sound heart defines righteousness, whereas a corrupt heart is controlled by your logic. Only through a sound heart will you find peace, and only through Allah will your heart be sound. And only through Islam with you be content with your destination.
Your heart is your personality, it is your integrity. It is your love and kindness. It is yours as long as Allah's voice is greater than this worlds. Give up your heart to Allah. Give Him the chance to reward you. Give Him a reason to guide you. Give Him the opportunity to prepare a place for you in Paradise. Give Him and He will give back, for He never fails His promise. Truly He is the Giver Of Life, The Greatest, And Most-Merciful!
|♥ Husband & Wife |♥
A Bond Of Love,
A Medal Of Trust…
A Shoulder In Sadness,
A Hand In Darkness…
A Special Relation To Hold,
An Ear Where Secrets Can Be Told… An Appreciator For Encouragement,
Something That Doesn't Cost…
A Jewel Never To Be Lost - It's The Magic Jewel
Called HUSBAND/ WIFE... ♥
"Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfortto our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Du'aa from Surah Al Furqan, ayah
An Ear Where Secrets Can Be Told… An Appreciator For Encouragement,
Something That Doesn't Cost…
A Jewel Never To Be Lost - It's The Magic Jewel
Called HUSBAND/ WIFE... ♥
"Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfortto our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Du'aa from Surah Al Furqan, ayah
Our Dua'a for you
It is recommended that you congratulate the bride and bridegroom by reciting the du’a of Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam]:
بَارَكَ اللّهُ لَكَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَيكَ وَجَمَعَ بَينَكُمَا فِى خَيرٍ
Barakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alaika wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair
May Allah bless you and bless your counterpart and may Allah tie your union with virtue. [Sunan Abí Dáwud, Sunan Tirmidhi, Sunan Ibn Majah and Al-Hákim]
For all the Married couples out there , Our Dua'a for you ♥ Barakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alaika wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair ♥
بَارَكَ اللّهُ لَكَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَيكَ وَجَمَعَ بَينَكُمَا فِى خَيرٍ
Barakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alaika wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair
May Allah bless you and bless your counterpart and may Allah tie your union with virtue. [Sunan Abí Dáwud, Sunan Tirmidhi, Sunan Ibn Majah and Al-Hákim]
For all the Married couples out there , Our Dua'a for you ♥ Barakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alaika wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair ♥
8 Things Which Strengthen The Marriage IN SHA ALLAH:
1) Good Attitude - A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, "Al Hamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn't give us).
2) Help - Our prophet, peace be upon him, stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real "win-win" situation, if we just follow it.
3) Trust - Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet, peace be upon him, as the "Trustworthy".
4) Respect - You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?
5) Joy - Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to entertain his wife, Ayesha and she used to play and race with him. She said, "I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me". He told us to play with our wives.
6) Forgiveness - Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive - will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each other's mistakes so we won't it against us.
7) Time - Spend time, alone - together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj - this is a great way to get a "new start" on life. Trust me.
8) Worship - connection with Allah through ritual of prayer, petition and peace while moving together in the salat is something a non-Muslim can never really appreciate. Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like grave yards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home. A sister gains the most rewards at home, in her room, behind a screen.
8 Things Which Strengthen The Marriage IN SHA ALLAH:
1) Good Attitude - A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, "Al Hamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn't give us).
2) Help - Our prophet, peace be upon him, stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real "win-win" situation, if we just follow it.
3) Trust - Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet, peace be upon him, as the "Trustworthy".
4) Respect - You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?
5) Joy - Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to entertain his wife, Ayesha and she used to play and race with him. She said, "I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me". He told us to play with our wives.
6) Forgiveness - Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive - will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each other's mistakes so we won't it against us.
7) Time - Spend time, alone - together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj - this is a great way to get a "new start" on life. Trust me.
8) Worship - connection with Allah through ritual of prayer, petition and peace while moving together in the salat is something a non-Muslim can never really appreciate. Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like grave yards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home. A sister gains the most rewards at home, in her room, behind a screen.
8 Things Which Strengthen The Marriage IN SHA ALLAH:
1) Good Attitude - A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, "Al Hamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn't give us).
2) Help - Our prophet, peace be upon him, stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real "win-win" situation, if we just follow it.
3) Trust - Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet, peace be upon him, as the "Trustworthy".
4) Respect - You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?
5) Joy - Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to entertain his wife, Ayesha and she used to play and race with him. She said, "I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me". He told us to play with our wives.
6) Forgiveness - Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive - will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each other's mistakes so we won't it against us.
7) Time - Spend time, alone - together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj - this is a great way to get a "new start" on life. Trust me.
8) Worship - connection with Allah through ritual of prayer, petition and peace while moving together in the salat is something a non-Muslim can never really appreciate. Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like grave yards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home. A sister gains the most rewards at home, in her room, behind a screen.
How to Win your Wife’s Heart ? ? ?
If your wife is still asleep when youhave woken up, give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Watch your wife’s beauty secretly.
Whenever you have the opportunity, offer her a flower or abouquet of flowers with a smile.
Rather than trying to satisfy her too much, feel and say that YOU aresatisfied with her. Your own satisfaction will satisfy her.
Tell her twenty times a day, “I love you.” Send her SMS saying, “I love you.” If she says that she doesn’t believe you, tell her, “You have the right to disbelieve me, but I love you.”
On coming back home every time, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.
Tell her that
she looked really nice when she
was asleep last night.
Really feel that she was made for you – so you’re not only happy, but satisfied too; you’re not only satisfied, but proud too.
Feel that you have never seen anybody like her and let her know it.
Tell her, “I love you so much that I don’t want to see anybody else love you. Somebody who loves youmore than I do simply doesn’t exist.”
Don’t look for her body. That’s already yours. Rather look for her mind. She’s looking for opportunities to offer it to you.
When she acts like
a child simply enjoy the beauty
of her frivolity.
Look her into the eyes and smile/
Respect her mother and father. And tell her to do so even if she doesn’t sometimes like them very much.
When you feel deep love for her ask her, “Have you cast spell on me? How can I remove you from my mind? I’ve tried but failed.” Saying that will make your love more real.
When you have the time play games with her. If you lose, ask herfor a kiss. If you win, act like a child.
20 tips to make your marriage successful In’sha’Allah ♥
1. Trust, help each other, be good and stay positive.
2. Please your spouse and make him/her feel special always.
3. Be humorous, playful, helpful, respectful and entertaining.
4. Never bring your past mistakes in your today.
... 5. Encourage and give hope to your spouse.
6. Do not compare each other even for tiny things.
7. Surprise your spouse with something new.
8. Spent time as much as you can.
9. Get ready for your spouse as they want you to get ready and look beautiful always.
10. Listen carefully and obey sincerely.
11. Avoid fighting, ignoring, lying, doubting, misbehaving and getting angry.
12. Be open and discuss your problems/ worries to your spouse.
13. If one of you is angry, the other should be quiet.
14. Don’t argue. Simply say ‘Sorry’ whether it’s your mistake or not.
15. Always make Dua to make your marriage successful and your relationship/ bond strong.
16. Always be thankful to your spouse.
17. Say ‘I love you’ to your spouse.
18. Understand each other.
19. Make eye contact while speaking.
20. Eat together, be together and pray together"
What women are looking for
A couple that wishes to have a successful relationship must understand each other’s needs. A husband must take into account that a woman’s needs and expectations are different than a man’s. Great intimacy can only be achieved if a woman finds a complete, fulfilling relationship. So what are women looking for in a marriage?
Women get married to find a special best friend. They want someone who will share their secrets, laugh and joke with them, love them, cherish them, adore them, be romantic with them, and make them feel beautiful and wanted. They want someone who will be attracted to them emotionally through their personality, and attracted to them physically through their bodies.
A woman wants a partner who will strive together with her through this life; laughing and rejoicing through the good times, and sticking by each other and supporting each other through the bad times. She wants a man strong in his deen who can stand up and take the responsibility of the household, and help raise the children in accordance with Islam.
A woman wants her husband to be her friend, companion, and soul mate.
Any good husband must realize that a woman’s primary need is emotional. He must take into account the prophetic tradition “The best of you are those who are best to their wives,” [Sahih al-Bukhari], and then strive to be the best to his wife.
Men have been assigned the responsibility by Allah to take care of their wives, and this entails treating them with love and respect, and striving to make them happy. If a husband can fulfill his wife's primary needs, not only will Allah reward him, his wife will be content with him, and together the couple’s life will be more harmonious. Moreover, when a woman’s needs are fulfilled she will be more willing to fulfill her husband’s needs, bi iznillaah.
The best way to satisfy a woman’s emotional needs is to listen to her and respond to her with compassion. By listening to her intently, with your undivided attention, and taking a genuine interest in what she has to say, she will feel loved, cherished and important. Realize that when she approaches you with her problems, she doesn’t necessarily want solutions, she just wants sympathy and understanding.
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